There are things we do behind closed doors that we wouldn't want our friends and family to know about. They might be surprised at our actions and not recognize this behavior in us. You might use names to call each other things that you wouldn't use in public for fear of getting strange looks. Susan and I cant be the only ones who engage in this behavior. Surely, there are those of you who act differently behind closed doors. Admit it, you might be. In general, do you act silly, goofy, or weird with your loved ones in private? Do you sing goofy, made-up songs to your spouse or do silly things just to get a reaction from them? Do you call each other names (and I don't mean bad words) that are your own and not for human consumption? Like you both have your own special language you share with each other?
If you answered yes, boy are you weird (just kidding). But, there's a special bond that's formed among friends and even more specifically with your significant other. There is a freedom of being unrestrained and goofy with your spouse. As an aside, guys - when she rolls her eyes at you - that's a positive sign right?
There are things we do as a sign of affection towards one another that is specific to each couple. All couples don't use the same pet names for each other. There are different things we each do to make the other smile or laugh. No one person is the same, and as a result each couple's dynamic is unique.
I have been married for five plus years and I very rarely refer to Susan as "Susan" behind closed doors. In the same way, Susan doesn't call me "Chris" either. Its so bad that there are times in public, Susan calls me "Chris" and I don't respond. We have our own affectionate nicknames we call each other on the phone and at home. Only one other person knows those names, but I am fairly certain they've forgotten it. No, I am not sharing them with my readers either.
I will says thanks to the kids of some friends of ours for providing the basis for something we call each other. The word "nem" is no in Hungarian. We were introduced to the word when their daughter refused to go to bed one evening during home group. As their son would later state "Nem means nem". So, Susan and I will use various twists on that word to each other when we are being silly. Saying silly things or singing silly songs.
But, that's what its like being married, or what it should be. We should be willing to be silly and let our guard down, to have fun, and enjoy each other's company. It has served to deepen our love for each other and made our bond stronger. Who else can I be with watching TV in an outfit that would get me in trouble in public? Who else laughs at my funny jokes? Who else dances with me to the song Mr. Heat Miser every Christmas morning? Who's willing to find me monster cereals each Halloween? That's right, my wife does. She's willing to take part in my silliness.
But that's being free. My wife can be equally silly and while I may roll my eyes, I enjoy it.
Like, I might say something and she will come over, sit on my lap, and kiss me. I usually say "what part of that last sentence said tyo come over and kiss me?" Then she'll just say she likes to kiss me. You can all say "Awwwwww!!!" now.
I don't know if all married couples act like us. I tell Susan, when being silly, that I don't see this happening in another church home. Maybe that's true and we are the weird ones. If you do go to our church and act goofy like this, please don't let me know as it will ruin my image of you.
Why can we be this way with each other and so often? Simply, because we have seen each other "Naked". Now, that may have ruined an appetite or two - but I don't mean that naked. We have allowed each other to see past the facades and personas we erect to keep people at a distance. Co-workers, colleagues, friends, and family don't know every detail of our lives and they're not supposed to. This is not me saying we are to be dishonest or fake with others. But, no one is privy to every intimate detail of your marital relationship either. Or, you keep up a front so your friends don't know what stuff you are going through. But, my wife does.
She saw my extreme stress daily when my old company teetered on being shutdown because of debt. Each day could have been my last work day. She saw the nervousness on my face when my mom was diagnosed with cancer and she was the first to share my joy when my mom got a clean diagnosis. Or, when I got a new job or promotion, she is the first to know. The reason is because we allow each other to see the other at our core. And in that, there is freedom. No hiding things - everything out in the open. When we are "naked" with one another, its easier to read the other and know without words how the other is doing. Freedom allows us to love each other unconditionally without reservation and fear. The longer I stay married to Susan, the more I understand why God compares marriage to Christ's relationship to the church. Freedom, unconditional love, grace, forgiveness, mercy, and sacrifice are essential components in marriage. That and a dash of silliness as well.
If you answered yes, boy are you weird (just kidding). But, there's a special bond that's formed among friends and even more specifically with your significant other. There is a freedom of being unrestrained and goofy with your spouse. As an aside, guys - when she rolls her eyes at you - that's a positive sign right?
There are things we do as a sign of affection towards one another that is specific to each couple. All couples don't use the same pet names for each other. There are different things we each do to make the other smile or laugh. No one person is the same, and as a result each couple's dynamic is unique.
I have been married for five plus years and I very rarely refer to Susan as "Susan" behind closed doors. In the same way, Susan doesn't call me "Chris" either. Its so bad that there are times in public, Susan calls me "Chris" and I don't respond. We have our own affectionate nicknames we call each other on the phone and at home. Only one other person knows those names, but I am fairly certain they've forgotten it. No, I am not sharing them with my readers either.
I will says thanks to the kids of some friends of ours for providing the basis for something we call each other. The word "nem" is no in Hungarian. We were introduced to the word when their daughter refused to go to bed one evening during home group. As their son would later state "Nem means nem". So, Susan and I will use various twists on that word to each other when we are being silly. Saying silly things or singing silly songs.
But, that's what its like being married, or what it should be. We should be willing to be silly and let our guard down, to have fun, and enjoy each other's company. It has served to deepen our love for each other and made our bond stronger. Who else can I be with watching TV in an outfit that would get me in trouble in public? Who else laughs at my funny jokes? Who else dances with me to the song Mr. Heat Miser every Christmas morning? Who's willing to find me monster cereals each Halloween? That's right, my wife does. She's willing to take part in my silliness.
But that's being free. My wife can be equally silly and while I may roll my eyes, I enjoy it.
Like, I might say something and she will come over, sit on my lap, and kiss me. I usually say "what part of that last sentence said tyo come over and kiss me?" Then she'll just say she likes to kiss me. You can all say "Awwwwww!!!" now.
I don't know if all married couples act like us. I tell Susan, when being silly, that I don't see this happening in another church home. Maybe that's true and we are the weird ones. If you do go to our church and act goofy like this, please don't let me know as it will ruin my image of you.
Why can we be this way with each other and so often? Simply, because we have seen each other "Naked". Now, that may have ruined an appetite or two - but I don't mean that naked. We have allowed each other to see past the facades and personas we erect to keep people at a distance. Co-workers, colleagues, friends, and family don't know every detail of our lives and they're not supposed to. This is not me saying we are to be dishonest or fake with others. But, no one is privy to every intimate detail of your marital relationship either. Or, you keep up a front so your friends don't know what stuff you are going through. But, my wife does.
She saw my extreme stress daily when my old company teetered on being shutdown because of debt. Each day could have been my last work day. She saw the nervousness on my face when my mom was diagnosed with cancer and she was the first to share my joy when my mom got a clean diagnosis. Or, when I got a new job or promotion, she is the first to know. The reason is because we allow each other to see the other at our core. And in that, there is freedom. No hiding things - everything out in the open. When we are "naked" with one another, its easier to read the other and know without words how the other is doing. Freedom allows us to love each other unconditionally without reservation and fear. The longer I stay married to Susan, the more I understand why God compares marriage to Christ's relationship to the church. Freedom, unconditional love, grace, forgiveness, mercy, and sacrifice are essential components in marriage. That and a dash of silliness as well.
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