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12/14/12 - I Have no Answers

Three years ago, we had the tragic shooting in Sandy Hook. When it happened I wrote down in my journal what I was feeling in the moment. The following is what I wrote at the time and I will follow up after my reflection since then.
"I'm speechless. I'm very sad and I am bitterly angry. I decided to write these thoughts down the day this happened, rather than down the road when I can reflect and maybe sugarcoat my thoughts. I want my thoughts to be raw, I want to speak what's on my mind and heart unfiltered. Mostly, I want to remember what I thought when I heard this happen.
On this day, a gunman or two opened fire in an elementary school in Connecticut. As I write this, 27 lay dead, 18 or more are children from kindergarten to the fourth grade. This on the heels a few days ago of a shooter killing two in a Oregon mall before killing himself. This summer, another lunatic opened fire in a movie theater killing many watching The Dark Knight Rises. Earlier this year, a student in Chardon shot and killed a few of his classmates in school.
I wish I knew the right words to comfort. I wish I could say the right words to ease the pain. I wish I could say God is still in control with little doubt behind those words. I know God is in control, but on a day like this it becomes a little harder. It's hard to explain why many elementary school children died today. I can say because there is sin in the world, that things like this happen. That is true, but I feel it's cold comfort to those parents who lost their kids today. I'm not sure I'm able to be comforting in times like these.
The only thing I can do is grieve with those families. The time for discussions can wait. Now, we grieve, we pray, we listen for God, for His words. Hug your children, tell your spouse you love them, help out a friend - for we aren't guaranteed tomorrow in this world.
It's just a sad, sad day. I'm tearing up just reading about this tragedy. It breaks my heart that someone could do this. I can rant about gun control and yes it's needed - but now is not that time. I can say if you're suicidal, please just kill yourself instead of taking others with you. That's my emotional, HUMAN response. Instead, we need to pray. We need to pray that God can bring healing both physical and emotional to the families dealing with this. I pray that people who consider doing these acts would get the help they need. Instead of destroying lives, let God help rebuild yours.
I refuse to give the devil a victory here today. God did not taste defeat. God is still sovereign today and into the future. That hasn't changed. It will never change. Those words may still be cold comfort to some of you. I, however, cling to that belief, like a drowning man to a life preserver. It's how I can move forward.
It's still a sad day. I can't make it better. Only God can. That's what I cling to.
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18


Lord,
We pray for the innocent children and all our precious brothers and sisters affected by the Connecticut shooting today. Please wrap your arms around these families, and give them strength as they mourn this terrible tragedy. We pray for peace, covering, and perseverance, that they may be able to trust You during this difficult time. Thank you for your mercy and protection Lord, in Jesus' name, Amen."


Three years later, we continue to have mass shooting after mass shooting. Just recently a shooting at a Planned Parenthood Clinic in Colorado and one in San Berandino, California. We have become a culture that cares very little to the value of others. We believe the guns we have will protect us from (pick whatever threat the politicians are throwing at us). Good guys with guns are needed to combat bad guys with guns. Pfft. Please.
Why do people feel the need to hoard military style weaponry? Why do you need it? I am not saying we aren't allowed to have guns - I just want to know why we need military arsenals to feel safe. Both sides prefer to live on the extreme. One wants to fully ban guns while the other looks at any talk about is destroying their rights. Is there no happy medium?
Lets be honest, guns make it easy to mow down a lot of people in a  short time. But, how do we speak into a culture that really doesn't value another person? Its all over social media and in our politics. It's all about us - what do we get out of it, what rights we are losing, who is hurting us. Yet, we don't care about ourselves violating another person's rights. Because it's not what we believe. Therefore, the other person's opinion is invalid? When did we become people unwilling to compromise or hear the other person? When did we stop loving other people, even those with contrary opinions? When did every disagreement in this country become a war with the opposing side?
I pray that God would make us gentle people again. Speaking the truth in love and gentleness. We are not going to always agree with each other. But, we need to value each other more. God loves every single person out there (that doesn't equal that God loves everything we do). We are called to love one another, love our enemies, and take care of the least of these.
During this holiday season, I pray that we can look at each other through God's eyes. That we are no better than anyone else. That we are called to love and reveal the Gospel to others. That's it. Let God do the work. We are blessed to be along on the ride. It doesn't fall on us. God is not dependent on our strength and ability. But, He sure loves working through us and allowing us to be part of the action. That's my prayer. That we speak into these moments. That we do not become jaded and harsh and developing an us versus them mentality. It's not what we are called to.
Let's love one another this Christmas.
 

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