Skip to main content

The Ballad of Chris & Susan: And She Was

In honor of the 7th Anniversary of our first date:


It has been 7 years since my first date with my wife. You may wonder when it was I decided to marry Susan and spend the rest of my life with her. My friends might say when she said yes to our first date or when I first laid my eyes on her. Even possibly when she didn't say no to a second date. These are all valid answers knowing how I am. However, I knew I wanted to marry her the day she gave me a serious rebuking. But, I get ahead of myself.
I had just started going to the Vineyard Church in Brecksville when a friend of mine, Angela, told me there were some nice single ladies going to our church. This being the second service I had been to, I didn't immediately want to get into any trouble right away. I figured let me be there for a little bit, before I cause something bad to happen.
The first time I laid eyes on her she was coming out of the classroom where she had been teaching the children. Susan, being four foot ten, blended in with some of the taller tweens. I assumed she was a high school helper and immediately thought how twisted I was for checking out a young lady, possibly a teenager. I was told later that she wasn't a high school student, so that fear quickly subsided.
The main issue remained though. She was always working with the kids. How was I going to ask her out when she spent the entire time at church in the children's ministry wing and I was always in service. Besides my own inherent shyness around women being a barrier, how was I going to place myself in her path?
Fate intervened six months later when Susan emailed  regarding helping with the children's ministry. Here was my chance!!! She would get to know me better, fall heads over heels in love, and everything would work out like I planned it. So, I returned the email saying that I would be willing to teach or help out anytime I was needed. It was so subtle and clever of me. Of course, how I said it wasn't too subtle. I would have just been better served saying "Would you like to go out?" That would have been less subtle. Luckily, Susan didn't get a restraining order against me keeping me as far away from her and the children.
The next part of the plan was to find a way to ask her out. Since I wasn't sure she wasn't already dating or what her interests were, I needed to send scouts to get that information. My scouts were unsuccessful in finding out her dating status, but did find out she liked baseball. A plan was beginning to take shape, but how was I going to implement the master plan?
During the time period just before I asked her out, our church was having these "pockets of prayer" meetings at different houses. One was scheduled at my house the week before I was to teach the kids at church. This was my opportunity!!! I talked to Susan and stressed that it would be important for her to take part in it. I made an excuse about needing to go over the lesson for Sunday and what I should expect. I think I might have thrown some guilt in there as well by saying that praying was important. Pizza was also going to be available. I was covering all my bases here. In my planning - it looked like such a masterful plan. In hindsight and not taking my fear of rejection into play, this also had the makings of some serious comedy.
(Susan suspected this all the way, as I said I wasn't very subtle as I thought. She told me she spent time up the street in a parking lot debating on whether she should come or not. So much for subtlety.)
Susan still decides to show up for the prayer meeting despite my serious lack of subtlety. Things went well during prayer, and Susan stayed after for an hour to discuss the lesson on Sunday. I had planned this entire scheme, it was getting late and Susan decided it was time to go. I was so scared of rejection that I kept failing to pull the trigger on asking her out. I show her out my front door and in one of the greatest pick-up lines in history, I ask the back of her head "Hey, if I am able to ever get tickets to something like baseball sometime, I don't know would you be interested in going?" As I mentioned earlier, I was pretty smooth. On a side note, the back of her head has never answered my date request. She did turn around and say "yes", despite my best efforts. She called a friend afterwards to say "I think Chris asked me out"
So, guys, if you are thinking of asking that nice Christian girl at church out, follow my advice. Divine intervention is a wonderful thing. In spite of my lack of subtlety, shyness, and awkwardness, she did say yes. I can only explain it as God moving things to make it happen. That, or she felt really really sorry for me and took pity on my weak attempt. I choose to go with the first answer. Pray very hard is another thing to do, especially before you ask her out. I asked God for weeks, was this the right thing to do? I asked God to help me be a better man worthy of being said "yes" to. It required a lot of changes on my part to make, before I got the courage, if we can call it that, to ask her out. Praying also helps to hear what God's plan is. Had He said "no", then I would not have asked her out and we would have a different story.
There's a lot to our adventure together. Our first date, knowing she was the one, getting engaged, the wedding planning, and the wedding itself. Plus, our story did not end with us both saying "I do". Marriage is a continuing adventure that I am honored and blessed to have Susan at my side sharing it. As for those tales, those are stories for another day.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Bad Samaritan Laws

Lately here in America, I have been reading online about different states trying to pass laws where people can deny service to others based on their deeply held religious beliefs. Such as, not agreeing to the gay lifestyle because of my Christian beliefs so I choose not to serve them. It is usually spouted by self-identified Christians protecting their "religious freedom". Now, if you own your own company and you feel in your beliefs a certain way, you can do what you want. You shouldn't be forced to go against your faith - let the market decide then. But, if you are a part of a national chain, then I have a problem with that. My biggest frustration is when people hide behind their faith to justify bad behavior towards others. There is a sense of persecution held by Christians here, that I don't see. Complaints about being wished "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" Or gays getting married damaging their marriage somehow. Or, I don't ...

The Ballad of Chris & Susan: Harvester of Sorrow

When I made my vows to my wife on October 25, 2008 I meant them. I promised to love, honor, and cherish her all the days of my life. More than five years later, I have striven to live up to those promises I made with God's help. Some days are more successful than others. Like most couples, we have our differences and our fights. Luckily, none of them involve yelling much (she doesn't yell and I yell occasionally). Even when we have our arguments, we made a vow to discuss it before we go to bed. It doesn't do us any good to sleep when angry - you tend not to sleep anyways. Plus, it keeps us from dwelling on the situation and to allow it to snowball into something bigger. We may not come to an agreement always, but we make a point to try and deal with it. We try not to point a finger at the other, but relate how the situation makes us feel. Sleep tends to be a little better afterwards. That being said, I recently feel that I have hurt my wife deeply and in such a way it may...

Five Loaves & Two Fish

Every now and then, God will press something important in my life. Some lesson, perhaps some healing. But, there is one place that God keeps bringing me back to during the last few years. I wander, sometimes God wants to show me something else that's important - but once done, he brings me back here. Where he is - is the passage John 6: 8-9. "Another of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter's brother, spoke up, 'Here is a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish, but how far will they go among so many?" I have written about Andrew in the past and how I identify with him. He's a background character for the most part, included in the apostle roll call - but never usually front & center like Peter or Paul. Here in this passage is one of the few times Andrew takes a starring role in the story. We know this story because it is the miracle of Jesus feeding the five thousand. A story I have known backwards and forwards since I was a small child in ...