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Hiding Behind Superiority

"Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed 'God, I thank you that I am not like other people - robbers, evildoers, adulterers - or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get'. But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner'" Luke 18: 10-13.
Most of us have read or heard this story before. We can all assume that we should not act like the arrogant Pharisee. Thanks God immediately for not being like others, who I assume, he feels are inferior to him. He names names and speaks highly of himself. Feeling the need to proclaim his accomplishments to God. Somehow by stating that, makes him a better person. I'm sure he made sure that the tax collector heard his prayer.
We can get a good chuckle as we read this. Thinking to ourselves that we don't pray like that. I don't recall ever thanking God for making me "better" than others. Do recall listing my resume of accomplishments to Him, but that's another matter.
The above verses came to me the other day when I was thinking of times when I was upset with God. For things not going my way or for feeling like the world was crashing down around me. Keep in mind, its OK to not always be happy with God's decisions. He knows what is best for us, but we don't always see it and lash out. We can be honest in our feelings with God rather than pretending.
Anyways, when we are upset with God or the world, one of our first reactions can be to compare ourselves to someone else. Essentially, why does someone get benefit and not me. Their life is going well, or seem to be getting what they want, so why am I not? I do all the right things and follow God, so why not me?
Now, I can go on and say life is unfair. That being a Christian does not guarantee the most spectacular life on Earth. That God knows what we need and He doesn't leave us wanting. I can say all that and would be correct. Rather, I want to focus on what we are saying here.
What do we mean when we shout out about why someone is getting something and we are not? Are we not comparing their worthiness to our own? Even, that we are better than those people? Like, we are telling God that you are blessing people who are not as good as me? Like the Pharisee, we are spitting out our qualifications of worthiness and downplaying other people. Maybe, its not as blatant as this Pharisee's prayer, but our mindsets are the same. That we are worthy of getting good, but if we are not - then others aren't deserving. Because, we are better than them, or we aren't as bad as those other people (that sounds better, not so smug).
It's a very human reaction. We all like to think, deep down, that we are good people. That we do the best we can do and treat others well. So, naturally, all good things await those doing good. At least, that's the way we think. At least, that's what the world teaches us.
We do that in comparing ourselves to others, especially if they are non-Christian, or worse, "sinners". Not saying we cant ask God for help or even nice things but we cannot fall into the Pharisee trap of banging our own drum. No matter our accomplishments, the list will never be deserving of what we think we deserve.
We have to remember that we don't deserve the good graces of God. Nothing we do will gain us that. God, in His grace, bestows on us gifts and blessings. God knows better than even us, of what we need. We also do not know what others are going through when we choose to judge their circumstances. God does not answer to us or have to explain why He does what He does. Maybe, what God is giving to that person, is what they need in that moment to draw closer to God. Not as an enticement or reward to follow God, but God revealing Himself to His creation in that moment. Whatever that looks like to each and every one of us.
Remember, that while we sinners, Christ died for us. There is no qualifier. We are all sinners, no better or worse. That was the only gift worth having. We were still in rebellion to God, yet God decided in his love to redeem us through sacrifice. We weren't good boys and girls and God rewarded us. We were being bratty and mean. God did it because He loves us and like any good parent, wants what is best for us. There was no qualifier to God's love. We did nothing to earn it. In fact, we were opposite of deserving that love. Yet, that didn't stop God from loving us.
Good reminder for me when I am thinking life is so unfair and I am not getting what I deserve.

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