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Wounded by the Church

Some of us have been there before. We may all have our own stories. Being involved with churches (some heavily) and then getting hurt emotionally and spiritually. Getting wounded from what we consider a safe haven can have a life long impact. I know of people whose faith was shaken to the point of foregoing church anywhere due to wounds received from the church they were a part of.
We all get wounded in our relationships at some point in our lives. Some are superficial and easily heal, some cause deep bruising, while others leave us in pain for years. This can happen in any kind of relationship. Friendships, marriages, and families. At some point, you will get hurt. Humans are that way, whether intentional or not. Churches are no different.
The pain from a church can feel different. As I said, we tend to look at them as safe havens. We feel everyone there is the same, with the same motivations. Believers who are in lock step together. Believing the same God and following His commandments. We can be lulled into thinking that we can't get hurt there and so our reaction when we are hurt there can become magnified. Wouldn't say over-reacting.
Also not saying not to go to church. That they are all unsafe because of the risk of getting hurt. Some might be. But, we can't blanket statement the entire church body over the actions of a few.
However, churches are full of people. And, people sin against one another. So, a church is no different than any other gathering of people - maybe the music is a little better. There is always a risk when interacting with people. There is always a risk when interacting with people. But, God commands us to reach out to people.
I have been burned by churches in the past. In fact, my childhood church. I was involved there from the time I was seven, until my mid-thirties. Was a part of the Sunday School, youth group, and went to church weekly. As far as I was concerned, the church was pretty good. Then, I got asked to become the church treasurer and sit on the Board of Trustees. I had just left college and Intervarsity Christian Fellowship and was pumped to bring a little bit of that excitement to my own church.
The first assumption one might make when getting involved with the inner workings of a church is that there is a united front. Everyone is Christian, and we will all agree on the church's purpose. That being moving forward and reaching out to the community for the kingdom. However, there are many paths and ideas. As well, there are some perils and pitfalls.
Resistance came quickly as I navigated through the different personalities. When finances get discussed in church, the defenses start popping up. One of the things I found out, that in some instances, that the church may be the only place some people have power in their lives. Any encroachment (perceived or real) could trigger an unfavorable reaction. There were many Sundays I dealt with anger and complaints. It did affect my worship life.
I didn't want to be a part of the church no more. I felt no one cared for the Kingdom, but rather their "kingdoms". The final straw for me when I told the Board of Trustees that one weekend we should clean the grounds to show leadership and servanthood. Mostly, we had the older ladies of the church doing weeding out in the summer heat. I was told to form a committee to look into it. They, I felt, did not see it as an opportunity to serve the church body. Took me a year to hand in my resignations and leave. Mostly, because it was the church I grew up in. I left that church with a heavy heart. To this day, no one from that church has sought me out. Luckily, I found another church to go to. Could have easily just walked away from church altogether. But, I felt God had different plans for me.
Even though you might move on physically, you can still carry the bitterness with you in your heart. Years later, during worship, I heard God tell me to let go and forgive the other church. Which, I did. Ironically, after hearing my church background two weeks later, my pastor asked if I had ever forgiven them. I had to smile as it is cool to get confirmation when God speaks to you.
Even though it might hurt, we are called to forgive. Even churches that hurt us. Doesn't mean to stay in a negative situation that is constantly hurting you. But, we are not meant to live with that pain and allow us to devour us and take our eyes off of God. The same grace we give others when they sin against us, we do the same here.
Churches should be safe havens (and they are). But, circumstances can prove otherwise at times. They are made up of people, and they are fallible. God is not. He desires us to be whole. When we are hurt, we need to turn towards Him, not away. Our worship is towards God, not to the church we are a part of. Sometimes, we combine the two. When we are hurt by our church experience, we can transfer that disappointment to God. We must remember that this is not true. Again, turn towards God not away from Him. Churches, too, need to do the same.

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