As people, we have a lot of different fears. People can be afraid of the dark, afraid of certain animals, or afraid of other people. Some of these fears can be valid or invalid. For example, I am afraid of heights, or more appropriately the sudden stop at the end of a fall from one of these great heights. I also am afraid of speaking in front of a group of people, no matter how safe the environment is. No rational reason for it, but I know I would rather face more fearful and terrifying monsters than speak in front of a large group. I know one day, I will be called to give a sermon or two, not because I want to, but because God will want to show me the fear is silly and that God has a great sense of humor. However, there is one thing I dislike more than anything else and will refuse to do unless it is absolutely necessary.
I dislike public restrooms. Or more to the point, I hate being in a stall in a public restroom. You sit and hear people coming in and out, and you work in your mind all sorts of worst case scenarios. Just waiting there waiting for someone to kick in the door and do unspeakable things. These thoughts aren't front and center in my mind, but an idle mind can go in all sorts of directions. It's purely an irrational thought brought on by irrational fears. So, why do I carry these thoughts?
I was thinking about this issue and decided against seeing a therapist. Mainly, therapists cost money and I like my own recommendations the best. After thinking about it, I came up with some reasons for this. I was vulnerable, I was doing something I found embarrassing, and perhaps disgusting (I know its a normal bodily function, but this is my neurosis we are talking about). If someone came after me, there was no escape. If I was walked in on, I would be highly embarrassed maybe even disgusted.
In the same way, I believe at times we treat our relationship with Jesus. We allow Him into our lives, but we try and shut Him out of the areas we find vulnerable or embarrassing. Also, there are things we might find disgusting about ourselves we don't want Jesus to know about. In many ways, we don't deal with all our sins, because we feel Jesus won't understand or it might disgust Him and He will abandon us.
The Lord doesn't want us to remain in our brokenness. The Lord is willing to meet us wherever we may be in our lives. He definitely doesn't want us wallowing in our sin, pity, and self-loathing. He doesn't want to deal with us just superficially. We need to allow Him to confront us even in those dark and dismal places for true healing to begin.
In Hebrews 4:15-16 it says "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are - yet He did not sin. Let us approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in our time of need"
As this states, He understands what we are going through. We will not surprise Him with what we are dealing with. He is not going to laugh at you or humiliate us over it. I guarantee you that you will not shock Him with any revelations when you discuss the affairs of your heart. It actually says we can approach the throne with confidence. We don't have to fear or timid when we approach Him. He wants to help us with all our sins and vulnerabilities. He wants to bring healing, He wants to help us.
Now this isn't to say that we are not going to feel some pain and sadness when dealing with our stuff. Dealing with our sin sometimes isn't easy. You may end up crying and wailing and you may feel like you can't go on. The Lord will deal with it as He always has. With a loving touch. You will be better for it once you get through it. Holding onto these things that hurt you spiritually because you're embarrassed will only continue to weigh you down and affect your walk with the Lord.
1 John 1:9 says "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
It speaks volumes that we can approach the Lord on these things. Notice it just says sins, it doesn't qualify to any types of sins. The Lord wants us to be well and whole, not frightened and embarrassed.
My hope for myself, as well as you is that we can remember that. I want to be more honest in my talks with God. I want to open myself up in ways that God deals with even all my really messy stuff. I want God to heal those places in me that make me feel vulnerable, embarrassed , or disgusted with myself. Mostly, I need Him to make me whole and healthy. That truly happens when we are willing to be open, honest, and vulnerable to Him.
I dislike public restrooms. Or more to the point, I hate being in a stall in a public restroom. You sit and hear people coming in and out, and you work in your mind all sorts of worst case scenarios. Just waiting there waiting for someone to kick in the door and do unspeakable things. These thoughts aren't front and center in my mind, but an idle mind can go in all sorts of directions. It's purely an irrational thought brought on by irrational fears. So, why do I carry these thoughts?
I was thinking about this issue and decided against seeing a therapist. Mainly, therapists cost money and I like my own recommendations the best. After thinking about it, I came up with some reasons for this. I was vulnerable, I was doing something I found embarrassing, and perhaps disgusting (I know its a normal bodily function, but this is my neurosis we are talking about). If someone came after me, there was no escape. If I was walked in on, I would be highly embarrassed maybe even disgusted.
In the same way, I believe at times we treat our relationship with Jesus. We allow Him into our lives, but we try and shut Him out of the areas we find vulnerable or embarrassing. Also, there are things we might find disgusting about ourselves we don't want Jesus to know about. In many ways, we don't deal with all our sins, because we feel Jesus won't understand or it might disgust Him and He will abandon us.
The Lord doesn't want us to remain in our brokenness. The Lord is willing to meet us wherever we may be in our lives. He definitely doesn't want us wallowing in our sin, pity, and self-loathing. He doesn't want to deal with us just superficially. We need to allow Him to confront us even in those dark and dismal places for true healing to begin.
In Hebrews 4:15-16 it says "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are - yet He did not sin. Let us approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in our time of need"
As this states, He understands what we are going through. We will not surprise Him with what we are dealing with. He is not going to laugh at you or humiliate us over it. I guarantee you that you will not shock Him with any revelations when you discuss the affairs of your heart. It actually says we can approach the throne with confidence. We don't have to fear or timid when we approach Him. He wants to help us with all our sins and vulnerabilities. He wants to bring healing, He wants to help us.
Now this isn't to say that we are not going to feel some pain and sadness when dealing with our stuff. Dealing with our sin sometimes isn't easy. You may end up crying and wailing and you may feel like you can't go on. The Lord will deal with it as He always has. With a loving touch. You will be better for it once you get through it. Holding onto these things that hurt you spiritually because you're embarrassed will only continue to weigh you down and affect your walk with the Lord.
1 John 1:9 says "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
It speaks volumes that we can approach the Lord on these things. Notice it just says sins, it doesn't qualify to any types of sins. The Lord wants us to be well and whole, not frightened and embarrassed.
My hope for myself, as well as you is that we can remember that. I want to be more honest in my talks with God. I want to open myself up in ways that God deals with even all my really messy stuff. I want God to heal those places in me that make me feel vulnerable, embarrassed , or disgusted with myself. Mostly, I need Him to make me whole and healthy. That truly happens when we are willing to be open, honest, and vulnerable to Him.
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