The countdown to the wedding was on. Like any big event in one's life, there was loads of excitements and stresses. There was much to plan and after 37 years of being single, we were going to have a celebration. Getting the church and reception hall on the same day was easy - paying for it would be a little more stressful. We were able to find a great photographer for the wedding (thanks Petra). A quick aside here if you ever need a good photographer, Petra is your lady to make that happen.
Going from a boyfriend-girlfriend dynamic to a fiancé dynamic is a change. There's many items you have to consider. Where will the two of you live?, how will you co-exist?, how will the holidays be handled with in-laws involved?, where will my collection of comic books live? All important things to think about. I had been living on my own for a while and here I was making a drastic change to the way I lived. There was going to be some disagreements, compromises, and decisions made. But, that happens when one makes a change in one's life. I loved Susan and knew that whatever we faced in the planning stages, we would be able to get through.
There are a lot of things to take into consideration when planning a wedding. First, you need to find someone willing to marry you. If you don't have that, the rest of this passage is irrelevant. Susan was still wanting to marry me even after getting to know me a little while. Trust me, you need to marry your best friend (which Susan is). They see you at your best and at your worst, and they provide a calm even when you are stressed out. Someone that can lean onto you as well as you can lean onto them. Lots of people say marriage is a 50%-50% proposal. It's actually 100%-100%. You both need to be all in. You can't rely on your spouse to fill in the places where you are weak. Do not ask them to accept the burden of sustaining you at the same time they are taking care of themselves. You work together and support each other, but don't expect them to fill holes to make you whole. That's unfair to them and you - because if they let you down that can lead to bitterness towards each other if you have unreal expectations about each other's role.
As the countdown continued, we were able to afford the reception hall (Diamond Event Center), find a place for the cake and flowers. We even had the DJ taken care of (Academy DJ's). All of whom were awesome to us.
For our honeymoon, we decided to spend a week in Boston. Primarily, because I like history and I easily catch on fire in warm climates. If we spent it in the Caribbean or Hawaii, or some other warm locale, I would have spent most of it in an air-conditioned hotel room. I did make the mistake of having our hotel stay end the day before our flight out. So, I had to get a second hotel for our final day, overlooking Boston Harbor (very beautiful view). Our plan was to see the city, going to historical places, seeing Fenway Park, a duck ride on the Charles River, going to Harvard, and other events.
We got the seating arrangements at the reception hall without much of a fuss. It helped that it was rows of three tables in front of us. I was initially worried about putting one family in front of the bridal table at the expense of the other. With three, we just placed significant others of the wedding party in front of us, with both families on either side. Both of our families were wonderful throughout the process. There was no squabbling or guilting us or any other horror stories you might hear about. It makes the process so much better when things are handled maturely and things are worked out instead of letting anger get in the way. The wedding is a celebration of the couple, not a time to be selfish and be petty for perceived slights. Our families, though, were entirely fantastic and we were blessed by their support and love.
However, we did not escape stress in this process. The day of the wedding was scheduled to be potentially rainy. This was an issue as we had planned to do outdoor photos. Petra was concerned that we would not be able to get good photos and offered other options, like doing them Sunday afternoon or doing them all indoors. Susan had her heart set on outdoor photos and was becoming stressed. We did not have a plan B for wedding photos. This caused some friction between Susan and I as we were inside a week to the wedding and here was an issue. During this friction, I decided to go home before we got into a full scale fight. Helpful hint: Walking out of the house when the other party thinks you are in a fight is not a good thing. If one of you perceives a situation a certain way, that is the reality of the situation. In her eyes it was a fight, therefore we were having a fight. Luckily, we talked about it the next day and handled the situation. We came up with a possible plan B, resolved a minor issue with the flowers, and took care of the last day of the honeymoon.
We made it to the wedding rehearsal and I was beginning to get excited. I was saying my vows when Susan started laughing uncontrollably. My heart sank and thought it finally dawned on Susan that she might be making a mistake. At worst, I thought someone was going to jump out and tell me I was punked. That's when I noticed my groomsmen. They were all wearing bald caps as a way of mocking the amount of hair I possess. My best man mentioned how he saw my shoulders sink as I thought the wedding was off. There were laughs aplenty on their part. Scott, Dave, and Jeff - I will always remember and I will get you back in some way, shape, or form. Just kidding - or am I?
We were less than 24 hours to the wedding. Would the weather cooperate? Would one of us not show up? Would there be a fight at the reception? Would I get revenge on my groomsmen? Would the cops get involved? Would the church fall to the ground at the prospect of me marrying?
All important questions that will be answered next time.
Going from a boyfriend-girlfriend dynamic to a fiancé dynamic is a change. There's many items you have to consider. Where will the two of you live?, how will you co-exist?, how will the holidays be handled with in-laws involved?, where will my collection of comic books live? All important things to think about. I had been living on my own for a while and here I was making a drastic change to the way I lived. There was going to be some disagreements, compromises, and decisions made. But, that happens when one makes a change in one's life. I loved Susan and knew that whatever we faced in the planning stages, we would be able to get through.
There are a lot of things to take into consideration when planning a wedding. First, you need to find someone willing to marry you. If you don't have that, the rest of this passage is irrelevant. Susan was still wanting to marry me even after getting to know me a little while. Trust me, you need to marry your best friend (which Susan is). They see you at your best and at your worst, and they provide a calm even when you are stressed out. Someone that can lean onto you as well as you can lean onto them. Lots of people say marriage is a 50%-50% proposal. It's actually 100%-100%. You both need to be all in. You can't rely on your spouse to fill in the places where you are weak. Do not ask them to accept the burden of sustaining you at the same time they are taking care of themselves. You work together and support each other, but don't expect them to fill holes to make you whole. That's unfair to them and you - because if they let you down that can lead to bitterness towards each other if you have unreal expectations about each other's role.
As the countdown continued, we were able to afford the reception hall (Diamond Event Center), find a place for the cake and flowers. We even had the DJ taken care of (Academy DJ's). All of whom were awesome to us.
For our honeymoon, we decided to spend a week in Boston. Primarily, because I like history and I easily catch on fire in warm climates. If we spent it in the Caribbean or Hawaii, or some other warm locale, I would have spent most of it in an air-conditioned hotel room. I did make the mistake of having our hotel stay end the day before our flight out. So, I had to get a second hotel for our final day, overlooking Boston Harbor (very beautiful view). Our plan was to see the city, going to historical places, seeing Fenway Park, a duck ride on the Charles River, going to Harvard, and other events.
We got the seating arrangements at the reception hall without much of a fuss. It helped that it was rows of three tables in front of us. I was initially worried about putting one family in front of the bridal table at the expense of the other. With three, we just placed significant others of the wedding party in front of us, with both families on either side. Both of our families were wonderful throughout the process. There was no squabbling or guilting us or any other horror stories you might hear about. It makes the process so much better when things are handled maturely and things are worked out instead of letting anger get in the way. The wedding is a celebration of the couple, not a time to be selfish and be petty for perceived slights. Our families, though, were entirely fantastic and we were blessed by their support and love.
However, we did not escape stress in this process. The day of the wedding was scheduled to be potentially rainy. This was an issue as we had planned to do outdoor photos. Petra was concerned that we would not be able to get good photos and offered other options, like doing them Sunday afternoon or doing them all indoors. Susan had her heart set on outdoor photos and was becoming stressed. We did not have a plan B for wedding photos. This caused some friction between Susan and I as we were inside a week to the wedding and here was an issue. During this friction, I decided to go home before we got into a full scale fight. Helpful hint: Walking out of the house when the other party thinks you are in a fight is not a good thing. If one of you perceives a situation a certain way, that is the reality of the situation. In her eyes it was a fight, therefore we were having a fight. Luckily, we talked about it the next day and handled the situation. We came up with a possible plan B, resolved a minor issue with the flowers, and took care of the last day of the honeymoon.
We made it to the wedding rehearsal and I was beginning to get excited. I was saying my vows when Susan started laughing uncontrollably. My heart sank and thought it finally dawned on Susan that she might be making a mistake. At worst, I thought someone was going to jump out and tell me I was punked. That's when I noticed my groomsmen. They were all wearing bald caps as a way of mocking the amount of hair I possess. My best man mentioned how he saw my shoulders sink as I thought the wedding was off. There were laughs aplenty on their part. Scott, Dave, and Jeff - I will always remember and I will get you back in some way, shape, or form. Just kidding - or am I?
We were less than 24 hours to the wedding. Would the weather cooperate? Would one of us not show up? Would there be a fight at the reception? Would I get revenge on my groomsmen? Would the cops get involved? Would the church fall to the ground at the prospect of me marrying?
All important questions that will be answered next time.
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