So, a while back I posted my thoughts on missions overseas and if I were ever going to go. I wrote that when my wife was preparing for a missions trip to India in February. She is a pro at this, having been to Africa, Brazil, England, and India. Me, on the other hand, has wandered outside the United States once - a one year anniversary trip to Toronto. Maybe someday, we will take a trip to Europe - but that will be the extent of my international traveling experience. (Some of my readers from overseas - feel free selling me on visiting your country someday)
So, imagine my surprise as I was writing my thoughts regarding missions trips that I would get the sense of four words: "Be Prepared to Go"
Actually, this is how the conversation went:
God: Be Prepared to Go
Me: Excuse Me?
God: Be Prepared to Go
Me: Go where? The grocery store? To work?
God: Be Prepared to Go!!! (The tone here is when your parent has told you something repeatedly and you haven't listened yet and they are frustrated that you're ignoring them)
Me: Ummm... God, I think you're talking to the wrong family member here. Honey, God is on the line, I think He meant to call you.
(Sometimes, I operate under the philosophy that God calls the wrong number)
For the next several days, I pondered the meaning of what was said to me. I did not discuss this with my wife or anyone I knew. Partially, because I didn't know what God meant when he said what he said. On the other hand, I was even more afraid that I knew what he was saying. I was afraid to discuss with anyone because I was afraid I would get an answer I didn't want to hear. Praying about it? Not right away - I just knew God would answer it in a way I might really not like.
To be perfectly honest, God has been showing me this stuff off and on for the last few years. A sense of being overseas, teaching, praying, and leading. Being adamant about not going on missions trips, I put those thoughts to the back of my mind. Plus, Susan and I are involved in an international adoption process so maybe He meant that or at the least I had an excuse for not going on missions trips. Maybe these were just random thoughts from when Susan went on her last missions trip. So, I pushed the thoughts from my mind.
The biggest fear I have on this is probably common to lots of people. I will be stuck in a hut, no running water, no electricity, totally lost and alone in a different environment. The natives might become restless, chop my head off and leave it as a warning to future missionaries. Yes, it's my delusion and I was comfortable with it. But, I was not trusting God.
Isaiah 41:10 states "Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous hand"
Romans 8:38-39 adds "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord"
So, with all this proof, what do I fear in getting the answer to my question? The Lord is not going to call me to something and just abandon me there. His grace will be sufficient to meet whatever needs I have.
I continued to struggle with this for several days. I prayed finally asking God what he meant. I had written down in my journal how people returning from missions trips never came back unhappy. Despite possible personal inconveniences, no one returned disappointed. So, the sense I kept getting was that God was calling me to the next India trip. More than likely, Susan would be going too, which would resolve any fears I might have of being separated from her.
The Saturday before the 2013 India trip, I told Susan what I heard and seen. "interesting" was her response. I'm still not certain what that reaction means. But, we are two years away from that trip. The next day, I got prayer from my friend Dan and Susan about what was placed on my heart. Dan was visibly excited as he also was going on this India trip. I felt a little more empowered and comfortable that this was the correct decision.
Finally, I approached our pastor to make him aware of my decision. Initially, I think he expected me to tell him that Susan would not be going on the trip. He, also was visibly excited and surprised. He had asked Susan during the 2011 India trip if I would ever come on a missions trip. She was adamant (as was I) that there was never a chance of that happening. Our pastor hugged me and said "You're on the hook". Yes, I am on the hook.
There is still a lot of work yet to be done. I know that I am not ready, nowhere close to ready. But, we have time or more specifically God has the time to make it happen. I have a lot to learn, a lot to prepare for. We are entering uncharted territory involving me. I don't know what to expect or what I am going to learn. It's both exciting and terrifying to think about. How will I manage time off from work? What about the finances? Will I be prepared? All this and more to come. Being new to this, I don't know what to expect. I do know this, I am on the hook. Let's see what happens next.
So, imagine my surprise as I was writing my thoughts regarding missions trips that I would get the sense of four words: "Be Prepared to Go"
Actually, this is how the conversation went:
God: Be Prepared to Go
Me: Excuse Me?
God: Be Prepared to Go
Me: Go where? The grocery store? To work?
God: Be Prepared to Go!!! (The tone here is when your parent has told you something repeatedly and you haven't listened yet and they are frustrated that you're ignoring them)
Me: Ummm... God, I think you're talking to the wrong family member here. Honey, God is on the line, I think He meant to call you.
(Sometimes, I operate under the philosophy that God calls the wrong number)
For the next several days, I pondered the meaning of what was said to me. I did not discuss this with my wife or anyone I knew. Partially, because I didn't know what God meant when he said what he said. On the other hand, I was even more afraid that I knew what he was saying. I was afraid to discuss with anyone because I was afraid I would get an answer I didn't want to hear. Praying about it? Not right away - I just knew God would answer it in a way I might really not like.
To be perfectly honest, God has been showing me this stuff off and on for the last few years. A sense of being overseas, teaching, praying, and leading. Being adamant about not going on missions trips, I put those thoughts to the back of my mind. Plus, Susan and I are involved in an international adoption process so maybe He meant that or at the least I had an excuse for not going on missions trips. Maybe these were just random thoughts from when Susan went on her last missions trip. So, I pushed the thoughts from my mind.
The biggest fear I have on this is probably common to lots of people. I will be stuck in a hut, no running water, no electricity, totally lost and alone in a different environment. The natives might become restless, chop my head off and leave it as a warning to future missionaries. Yes, it's my delusion and I was comfortable with it. But, I was not trusting God.
Isaiah 41:10 states "Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous hand"
Romans 8:38-39 adds "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord"
So, with all this proof, what do I fear in getting the answer to my question? The Lord is not going to call me to something and just abandon me there. His grace will be sufficient to meet whatever needs I have.
I continued to struggle with this for several days. I prayed finally asking God what he meant. I had written down in my journal how people returning from missions trips never came back unhappy. Despite possible personal inconveniences, no one returned disappointed. So, the sense I kept getting was that God was calling me to the next India trip. More than likely, Susan would be going too, which would resolve any fears I might have of being separated from her.
The Saturday before the 2013 India trip, I told Susan what I heard and seen. "interesting" was her response. I'm still not certain what that reaction means. But, we are two years away from that trip. The next day, I got prayer from my friend Dan and Susan about what was placed on my heart. Dan was visibly excited as he also was going on this India trip. I felt a little more empowered and comfortable that this was the correct decision.
Finally, I approached our pastor to make him aware of my decision. Initially, I think he expected me to tell him that Susan would not be going on the trip. He, also was visibly excited and surprised. He had asked Susan during the 2011 India trip if I would ever come on a missions trip. She was adamant (as was I) that there was never a chance of that happening. Our pastor hugged me and said "You're on the hook". Yes, I am on the hook.
There is still a lot of work yet to be done. I know that I am not ready, nowhere close to ready. But, we have time or more specifically God has the time to make it happen. I have a lot to learn, a lot to prepare for. We are entering uncharted territory involving me. I don't know what to expect or what I am going to learn. It's both exciting and terrifying to think about. How will I manage time off from work? What about the finances? Will I be prepared? All this and more to come. Being new to this, I don't know what to expect. I do know this, I am on the hook. Let's see what happens next.
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