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Eulogy for my Childhood


On April 4, 2014, a childhood friend passed away after a battle with cancer. I had only seen him once in the past 25 years at our high school reunion in October 2013. I remember that he looked like he had gone through a lot physically, but seemed in good spirits and upbeat. My wife took an immediate liking to him, even mentioning afterwards that I should really keep in touch with him.
When we think we have a lot of time, we tend to let opportunities slip away until it is too late. His Facebook posts during the end of 2013 looked promising and that his health was getting much better. How quickly things can change in a matter of months.
I reflect back on the Tuesday before he died, when his daughter posted on Facebook that she was letting him go as he lost his battle with cancer and they were waiting for the end. I know he had at least two children. Seeing his family post updates as the end approached was heart-wrenching. It just seemed so sudden. I felt like I was kicked in the gut by this news. The next few days, I spent each night praying for a miracle for his family. That God would heal in an amazing way and he would be restored.
It's funny. That this would hit me so hard. As I mentioned, I had seen him only once in the past 25 years and only for a few short moments in October 2013. I pondered on this for a short time afterward trying to figure out why this hit me so hard.
Mainly, my friend was just a little older than me. It's one thing for someone many years older than you to pass away, but when it's a peer - that forces one to confront their mortality. I'm 44 and if someone 70 passes away we can say "that's 30 years away I have plenty of time". When it's another 44 year old and its not accidental - you begin to start thinking about the time you do have. I know I did a quick inventory of my life and the choices I have made over the years. When you do that, include the good times too. It's too easy to focus on regrets and mistakes and the what if moments. There's a lot of good times to look at when you do self-reflections.
My friend may have been one of my first friends in elementary school when I moved up to the third grade.  So, a part of me feels like my childhood has officially "died". That it is time to move on to adulthood - even though I already have - its still the feeling. Now, my future, is something I always felt "older" people used to deal with. Friends and family passing away, especially your peers.
I am not trying to be depressing here, but it is a fact of life. And I know, cancer doesn't care about age and anything can happen to anyone at anytime. This is all true. We go through stages of our lives without hardly noticing until they are far away in our rear view mirrors of life. Just pressing forward - onto the next thing. Then, something happens like this to snap us back to reality - to readjust our focus.
There are no guarantees in this life. We can spend every day chasing after goals and then onto the next goal. It can be easy to fail to appreciate what we already have and been blessed with. A moment like this helps to ground me, if even for only a moment, and appreciate what I have.
Thankfully, there is hope. That death is not the final act. Jesus, with his resurrection, overcame death so that we no longer have to fear it. We have the hope of eternal life in heaven with Jesus. That's something to look forward to.
Until then, we are called to God's work here on the earth. Whatever paths we choose, we are all called. The earth is not our true home, we are just travelers here for a short time. Our true home awaits us in heaven.
Our calling? Love those around us. Be good witnesses of Christ to those you meet. Follow where God leads you. Wherever that may be. Life is too short to get caught up in the world - in the materialism, anger, and bitterness. God calls us to so much more than what the world offers. If we gain all the riches of the world, what good is that on the day we die? Why give up our souls for the perishable, when God offers us the eternal?
That's where I am at with this. A part of me is saddened with my friend's passing. It's human nature, thinking of family left behind. Part of it is missed opportunities. They happen. Another is knowing that my childhood is in the past with finality. He was a good friend and I will cherish those memories. I don't know what his spiritual life was or whether he was a believer. Hopefully, I will see my friend again someday where he no longer is suffering from the pain from cancer. I can smile thinking about that.

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