In 2014, Susan and I were invited to two weddings. One of which, I was the best man for. We had talked and realized that this might be the last wedding one of us will be an active participant in. It might be the last wedding we are invited to for a while even.
How we get to our wedding day is different for each and every couple. Each couple has their own unique story of how their courtship and dating went. Each wedding planning story has its own twists and turns on the way to the altar. Every marriage relationship is different. So, giving marriage advice has to take into consideration that every situation and personality is unique. So, we talk in generalities when we give advice.
As I was writing this originally, I was preparing the best man's speech that I gave at my friend's wedding. You want to share all the wit and wisdom inside of a two to three minute talk. It has to be heart-felt, warm, and most of all, humorous. Definitely, humorous.
What are the things you want to share about married life? Definitely, the good qualities you want to stress. Don't want to scare people off from marriage. There are ups and downs in every marriage - but if you are constantly harping on the negative - what's the point? (Although the enemy likes to remind you of those days a lot). Marriage is symbolic of the relationship between Christ and the church. That's not an unhealthy relationship or negative. This isn't to say all marriages are free of stress, but we need to look at the example of Christ and His relationship with us to help us in our marriages. What Christ did for us even when we are bitterly opposed to Him. We need to strive to follow the heart of Jesus in our marriages, heck in any relationship you have.
The first thing I can tell you about marriage is that it will be different from any expectations you might have. There are compromises and you don't realize how much the little things affect your relationship more than you would think. You discuss the major items - families, where you will live, work, children, etc.. You get on board or compromise together on the big ticket items. But, you may not be prepared for a few of the little things.
Like, sleeping in the same bed. No one tells you that this is actually a major change. No longer can you sprawl over the bed without suffocating or injuring your partner. A lesson I have learned as I have head-butted and elbowed my wife while sleeping. Due to Susan's forgiving nature, I am still breathing and able to tell you that tale. Your body somehow learns to sleep in your own personal space in the bed. Unless you are good at cuddling. In which case, do that as cuddling is nice.
Sharing the blanket while sleeping is another thing. On your own, you have the blanket to yourself. When married, it sometimes becomes a tug of war during the night. Men, be thankful you get a little piece of blanket. Susan and I use two separate blankets during the winter to avoid any conflicts.
Once you are married, the temperature has to be compromised on. You cant just blast the air conditioning at home or in the car. Susan can get cold even on days when I am sweating. I don't know why that occurs, but it is something to be discussed. Every year, I wait until our home temperature reaches 80 before turning on the air conditioner. When it gets to 79, I hover near the thermostat like a small child awaiting Christmas.
You will always be learning during your marriage. You continue to learn wonderful things about your spouse and yourself. I was never much of a traveler before I got married. Only, fort work did I go anywhere. Since marriage, we have gone to Boston, Toronto, Chicago, and Orlando. This year I went on a missions trip to India. If you had asked me before I met Susan, that concept would never have crossed my mind. This year, we plan on going to Cincinnati and Pittsburgh to see baseball games. And as usual, to Columbus.
It is funny that almost eight years later (our first date was May 18, 2007), that its hard to imagine my life without her. We have become such a team that I cannot picture a time when she's not there. Where would I be without her? Probably in a sadder, less healthy place.
She challenges me to be a better man, not just for her but for anyone around me. It's not forced or demanded by her. Being with her makes me want to be better. With her, in my faith, my family, and my job. When you're together, you begin to appreciate the impact you have on those around you. You learn more about God, forgiveness, love, compromise, and sacrifice than you would find in any book or online. You learn that from being together. It's something you don't know ahead of time - you find out together. No one tells you everything there is to know about marriage beforehand. That's a good thing. How will a healthy marriage grow if you are not always learning. Especially the things we learn together.
How we get to our wedding day is different for each and every couple. Each couple has their own unique story of how their courtship and dating went. Each wedding planning story has its own twists and turns on the way to the altar. Every marriage relationship is different. So, giving marriage advice has to take into consideration that every situation and personality is unique. So, we talk in generalities when we give advice.
As I was writing this originally, I was preparing the best man's speech that I gave at my friend's wedding. You want to share all the wit and wisdom inside of a two to three minute talk. It has to be heart-felt, warm, and most of all, humorous. Definitely, humorous.
What are the things you want to share about married life? Definitely, the good qualities you want to stress. Don't want to scare people off from marriage. There are ups and downs in every marriage - but if you are constantly harping on the negative - what's the point? (Although the enemy likes to remind you of those days a lot). Marriage is symbolic of the relationship between Christ and the church. That's not an unhealthy relationship or negative. This isn't to say all marriages are free of stress, but we need to look at the example of Christ and His relationship with us to help us in our marriages. What Christ did for us even when we are bitterly opposed to Him. We need to strive to follow the heart of Jesus in our marriages, heck in any relationship you have.
The first thing I can tell you about marriage is that it will be different from any expectations you might have. There are compromises and you don't realize how much the little things affect your relationship more than you would think. You discuss the major items - families, where you will live, work, children, etc.. You get on board or compromise together on the big ticket items. But, you may not be prepared for a few of the little things.
Like, sleeping in the same bed. No one tells you that this is actually a major change. No longer can you sprawl over the bed without suffocating or injuring your partner. A lesson I have learned as I have head-butted and elbowed my wife while sleeping. Due to Susan's forgiving nature, I am still breathing and able to tell you that tale. Your body somehow learns to sleep in your own personal space in the bed. Unless you are good at cuddling. In which case, do that as cuddling is nice.
Sharing the blanket while sleeping is another thing. On your own, you have the blanket to yourself. When married, it sometimes becomes a tug of war during the night. Men, be thankful you get a little piece of blanket. Susan and I use two separate blankets during the winter to avoid any conflicts.
Once you are married, the temperature has to be compromised on. You cant just blast the air conditioning at home or in the car. Susan can get cold even on days when I am sweating. I don't know why that occurs, but it is something to be discussed. Every year, I wait until our home temperature reaches 80 before turning on the air conditioner. When it gets to 79, I hover near the thermostat like a small child awaiting Christmas.
You will always be learning during your marriage. You continue to learn wonderful things about your spouse and yourself. I was never much of a traveler before I got married. Only, fort work did I go anywhere. Since marriage, we have gone to Boston, Toronto, Chicago, and Orlando. This year I went on a missions trip to India. If you had asked me before I met Susan, that concept would never have crossed my mind. This year, we plan on going to Cincinnati and Pittsburgh to see baseball games. And as usual, to Columbus.
It is funny that almost eight years later (our first date was May 18, 2007), that its hard to imagine my life without her. We have become such a team that I cannot picture a time when she's not there. Where would I be without her? Probably in a sadder, less healthy place.
She challenges me to be a better man, not just for her but for anyone around me. It's not forced or demanded by her. Being with her makes me want to be better. With her, in my faith, my family, and my job. When you're together, you begin to appreciate the impact you have on those around you. You learn more about God, forgiveness, love, compromise, and sacrifice than you would find in any book or online. You learn that from being together. It's something you don't know ahead of time - you find out together. No one tells you everything there is to know about marriage beforehand. That's a good thing. How will a healthy marriage grow if you are not always learning. Especially the things we learn together.
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