"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?'" Matthew 18:21
I like that Peter says "up to seven times?", like he is hoping Jesus will give him a lower number. Peter throws seven at him thinking "that's a good sized number, I'm not asking two, makes me seem like a nice guy". Or, maybe seven is a good number, it's even a lucky number. I'm not sure what Peter was thinking, but I can imagine it went something like that.
I like to bargain especially if it's something I don't want to do. It starts when you're little and your parents give you a bedtime and you bargain for additional time. Or, you bargained to get yourself dessert. Or when you're older and you bargain with your wife , which I don't do ;) Maybe you might bargain for something you can get later if you do this for them.
In Matthew 18:22 Jesus says "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times." Think Peter might have been deflated by that answer? Kind of thinking, how do I track that many times? The point isn't to forgive 77 times and let them have it. The point is to forgive always.
It's not easy to do. I don't want to forgive at times, especially if someone hurts badly or if I do not particularly like them. I want them to hurt or suffer as much (if not more) than what happened to me. Our first thought is to make them understand our pain and understand the error of their ways. Maybe some groveling on their part would be nice. That's not what we are called to do.
The problem with unforgiveness is how it can grow in our hearts and keep us focused on the wrong things. You spend your time thinking how you were wronged and dwell on it. Dwelling on it allows the enemy to get a foothold by reminding you of other instances this person may have hurt you. It builds until it is all you are focused on, which can affect your work and other relationships. Like a cancer it can spread throughout your life - it can even kill your heart.
If we hold onto our anger and are unwilling to forgive others, especially those who don't say sorry - it can lead us to do things we may later regret. The anger and bitterness could build where we think we should act like others. Do unto others before they do it unto you can be your philosophy. You may become distrustful of others. Like, this person hurt me, why should I trust others? I am going to harden my heart and not be placed in a position to be hurt again. Just blend into the world and be like everyone else. Maybe just depend on myself and to heck with others. If they get hurt by me, so what? It's better before they get me.
Trust me, I have had those thoughts too. You see others getting ahead and you're treated poorly. It could be easy to decide that's the way I should handle things going forward. This becomes a slippery slope of justification, sin, and self-destruction. The Lord calls us to better. He calls us to follow his example and that of his Son.
"Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is not possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: It is mine to avenge; I will repay' says the Lord" Romans 12:17-19.
It is pretty clear. The Lord will take care of things as He sees fit. It is not our job to get revenge.
That's not to say that we shouldn't defend ourselves or stand up for what is right. But, we should not be seeking revenge or be unforgiving. Jesus on the cross asked his father to forgive his enemies - none I am sure were sorry for what they were doing.
Ephesians 4:32 adds "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
We are to forgive because we have been forgiven first. The cost of our sin was paid at the cross, not by us or by our own strength. Thanks to Jesus, we were given forgiveness for our sins, and our righteous punishment was taken. If we have been forgiven for so much, who are we to withhold our forgiveness?
We are not limited to just forgive our friends and family. We are not limited just to forgive those who ask for it from us. Even those who are opposed to us and may not accept our forgiveness - we are to forgive them too. As I said before, Jesus asked that his executioners be forgiven. Jesus provides the example to follow. Our forgiveness is not contingent upon the recipient's reaction. It may not even bring reconciliation between the two parties involved. But it should not stop us from extending forgiveness.
When we withhold forgiveness, we focus on our own pain and suffering. We miss all the things God may be doing as our focus remains on ourselves. Why miss out on all the good stuff? We need to reflect the heart of God with our words and actions. Having a forgiving heart is one part of that.
Do not give into bitterness in your lives. That isn't a fun way to live. Stand up for yourselves but be forgiving in your hearts. As we reflect God in other's lives and react in ways that is opposite of the way the world tells us to react - maybe that is the best type of evangelism to show this world. Others may notice. People may ask. The opportunity to talk about God could happen. It does happen.
I like that Peter says "up to seven times?", like he is hoping Jesus will give him a lower number. Peter throws seven at him thinking "that's a good sized number, I'm not asking two, makes me seem like a nice guy". Or, maybe seven is a good number, it's even a lucky number. I'm not sure what Peter was thinking, but I can imagine it went something like that.
I like to bargain especially if it's something I don't want to do. It starts when you're little and your parents give you a bedtime and you bargain for additional time. Or, you bargained to get yourself dessert. Or when you're older and you bargain with your wife , which I don't do ;) Maybe you might bargain for something you can get later if you do this for them.
In Matthew 18:22 Jesus says "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times." Think Peter might have been deflated by that answer? Kind of thinking, how do I track that many times? The point isn't to forgive 77 times and let them have it. The point is to forgive always.
It's not easy to do. I don't want to forgive at times, especially if someone hurts badly or if I do not particularly like them. I want them to hurt or suffer as much (if not more) than what happened to me. Our first thought is to make them understand our pain and understand the error of their ways. Maybe some groveling on their part would be nice. That's not what we are called to do.
The problem with unforgiveness is how it can grow in our hearts and keep us focused on the wrong things. You spend your time thinking how you were wronged and dwell on it. Dwelling on it allows the enemy to get a foothold by reminding you of other instances this person may have hurt you. It builds until it is all you are focused on, which can affect your work and other relationships. Like a cancer it can spread throughout your life - it can even kill your heart.
If we hold onto our anger and are unwilling to forgive others, especially those who don't say sorry - it can lead us to do things we may later regret. The anger and bitterness could build where we think we should act like others. Do unto others before they do it unto you can be your philosophy. You may become distrustful of others. Like, this person hurt me, why should I trust others? I am going to harden my heart and not be placed in a position to be hurt again. Just blend into the world and be like everyone else. Maybe just depend on myself and to heck with others. If they get hurt by me, so what? It's better before they get me.
Trust me, I have had those thoughts too. You see others getting ahead and you're treated poorly. It could be easy to decide that's the way I should handle things going forward. This becomes a slippery slope of justification, sin, and self-destruction. The Lord calls us to better. He calls us to follow his example and that of his Son.
"Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is not possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: It is mine to avenge; I will repay' says the Lord" Romans 12:17-19.
It is pretty clear. The Lord will take care of things as He sees fit. It is not our job to get revenge.
That's not to say that we shouldn't defend ourselves or stand up for what is right. But, we should not be seeking revenge or be unforgiving. Jesus on the cross asked his father to forgive his enemies - none I am sure were sorry for what they were doing.
Ephesians 4:32 adds "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
We are to forgive because we have been forgiven first. The cost of our sin was paid at the cross, not by us or by our own strength. Thanks to Jesus, we were given forgiveness for our sins, and our righteous punishment was taken. If we have been forgiven for so much, who are we to withhold our forgiveness?
We are not limited to just forgive our friends and family. We are not limited just to forgive those who ask for it from us. Even those who are opposed to us and may not accept our forgiveness - we are to forgive them too. As I said before, Jesus asked that his executioners be forgiven. Jesus provides the example to follow. Our forgiveness is not contingent upon the recipient's reaction. It may not even bring reconciliation between the two parties involved. But it should not stop us from extending forgiveness.
When we withhold forgiveness, we focus on our own pain and suffering. We miss all the things God may be doing as our focus remains on ourselves. Why miss out on all the good stuff? We need to reflect the heart of God with our words and actions. Having a forgiving heart is one part of that.
Do not give into bitterness in your lives. That isn't a fun way to live. Stand up for yourselves but be forgiving in your hearts. As we reflect God in other's lives and react in ways that is opposite of the way the world tells us to react - maybe that is the best type of evangelism to show this world. Others may notice. People may ask. The opportunity to talk about God could happen. It does happen.
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