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Grace for All but Me

Before I start to talk, the title does not denote that I feel God gives everybody other than me grace. God gives me a whole lot more grace than I have ever deserved. That's not the point of today's discussion. Rather I am discussing about the grace that we give others.
Grace has been defined as "the love and mercy given to us by God because God desires us to have it, not because of anything we have done to earn it". It is a spontaneous gift from God which is free and mostly unexpected and totally undeserved. From the Latin "gratia" which means kindness, favor, esteem. I look at it as undeserved kindness, not because of something the other party has done. Grace is given without conditions.
We do that for other people. Give them grace. Not the godly kind, we are incapable of that. But, we give other people grace. We treat others with kindness, not because they did anything for us nor do we expect the same treatment back. It is hard for us to do that. Giving people grace especially when they don't "deserve" it in our eyes.
We don't deserve the grace of God. Jesus dying on the cross for our sins was the ultimate act of grace and love. God did not have to do that. We deserved the punishment for our sins and we did not receive it. This doesn't mean we should continue sinning without fear, but it shows the lengths of God's grace which was given to us. That while we were (and some still are) enemies, Christ died for us. But, back to the grace we give to others as our response.
Part of my issue is that I am quite a bit of a perfectionist, especially when it comes to my job. I want everything to be right when I do it, and I hate making mistakes. On the other hand, if someone at work makes a mistake or does something which complicates my day - I tend to be understanding. In my mind, I don't know what is going on in their lives, so I am OK with that. I've done this with my boss, when he throws multiple projects at the same time with no direction whatsoever other than a deadline. I give him grace, I don't know what his bosses have asked and maybe they are driving him crazy too. I wont take it out on him.
But, not me. I am good at beating myself up for my mistakes and the pressure on me. Don't know why I do that. Maybe because I feel I have more control over my actions and can prevent these mistakes. The only pressure I can place is on myself, not others. Would be unfair to do that to others, as I can't read their minds or day.
It also works that we can be unwilling to accept the grace of God. We let our standards get in the way. That we are not worthy (we aren't), that we need to do more (we don't), or we don't trust free things (maybe there are strings attached).
"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast" Ephesians 2:8-9.
Our salvation is an act of grace, a gift from God. God freely gives because of His love for us. There is no amount of effort we can give that leads to our salvation. This is the true essence of grace. A gift, freely given, unconditional. We have to have faith and follow, but that's more of our response to the grace of God rather than a means of obtaining it. In Corinthians, Paul writes that God's grace is sufficient. We don't need anything more than that.
The grace we give each other isn't the same as God's obviously. But, as a response to God's kindness to us, we need to mimic that kindness to others. This kindness does not expect repayment and is undeserved. That's what we are to model from God's example to us. We give it to those around us, but we shouldn't forget to give it to ourselves as well.

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