The heart is a fragile object. It can easily be scarred, broken, and shattered. People can be very protective of giving their heart and when they do it needs to be treated as a rare jewel. Something to be honored and protected.
I am a person who is very protective of revealing my emotions and inner thoughts to others. Never wanted people to get too close to me in the chance they could hurt me. It takes me a while to warm up to someone, but once I do, I become a very loyal friend (sometimes even to my detriment). There's very little I wont do for my friends. Still, even today, I can be wary and distrustful of putting myself out there. (I do in my blogs, but there is a safety being mostly anonymous behind a computer screen)
None of us wants to get hurt. Especially by those we give our hearts to. That kind of hurt may actually be the most painful. Getting wounded by those you intimately trust.
When we got married, Susan and I gave our hearts to each other to protect. This means our dreams and reputations should be vitally important to the other. That we would not betray each other or mistrust one another with our words and actions. Think that this would be a fairly easy thing to do. However, life proves that this is not always the case.
Sometimes we can pass it off as joking around. Taking shots at each other's expense whether that be in public or private. What does that do to the other person's self-esteem? How is that building each other up and strengthening your relationship? Tearing down another, even if joking, does nothing for the other person. It can make them feel humiliated and lesser of a person. Other times it can be just complaining to someone else about your significant other. Painting them in a negative light to others also is a trap. We, sometimes, don't even realize that we do that. It is easy to trash another person's character if we become self-absorbed.
Yes, there are conflicts when people are married. We are human and we will hurt each other. This is also not saying that we cannot draw others into our conflicts to foster resolution. There's a difference between telling someone "My wife and I are struggling due to some issue" as opposed to "My wife nags and nags and nags. She's such a shrew." One speaks to a truth (the first) and the other demeans her character (the second). People can figure what others are like without us to color their perceptions.
Another thing is we can speak terrible things in the heat of the moment and say things while bitter and angry. Once released, there are things said that cannot be taken back. We have to be careful with what comes out of our mouth. As I said, our words need to be used to build rather than destroy.
Keeping God in the center of your relationship is vitally important. Praying together and separately for your marriage protects each other. If you are seeking God's wisdom, you will think of each other's needs and reputation as you make decisions. We are called to be partners, lifting each other up, and not tearing each other to pieces. That is not life-affirming, nor what we are called to be as spouses.
The devil does not want us to have healthy relationships. He will do everything in his power to tear us apart. All of our relationships, especially our marriages, are under constant spiritual attack. The enemy will always point out the bad times. I know when I am under spiritual attack in my marriage when Susan and I argue. I will remember the other moments when I was angry and frustrated with her. Those ten moments will replay in my mind. Yet, no memories of all the good moments. That's when I know the devil has overplayed his hand. I will say, what about all those other days? That helps me to realize that even when we have our fights, our good times vastly outnumber any argument and I cant see me being anywhere else but by her side. (Why she sticks around putting up with me is some form of divine intervention as far as I can figure. Just kidding Susan).
This really hits me when we are joking around. That we made jokes at each other's expense. It was playful with no malice intended. Yet, it could lead to worse things down the road, in the heat of the moment. We also cant control what others might read into our joking around if we are tearing into each other. So, what we might consider harmless joking, may color someone's opinion and tarnish a reputation. We need to guard each other's heart.
It is a great responsibility and honor to do so. We need to be aware of that in our relationship with one another. The heart is a jewel entrusted to our safekeeping. And, like any other valuable, we need to treat it with the utmost respect and care. Like other fragile and valuable objects, a broken heart is often very difficult to repair and even harder to restore to its original form.
I am a person who is very protective of revealing my emotions and inner thoughts to others. Never wanted people to get too close to me in the chance they could hurt me. It takes me a while to warm up to someone, but once I do, I become a very loyal friend (sometimes even to my detriment). There's very little I wont do for my friends. Still, even today, I can be wary and distrustful of putting myself out there. (I do in my blogs, but there is a safety being mostly anonymous behind a computer screen)
None of us wants to get hurt. Especially by those we give our hearts to. That kind of hurt may actually be the most painful. Getting wounded by those you intimately trust.
When we got married, Susan and I gave our hearts to each other to protect. This means our dreams and reputations should be vitally important to the other. That we would not betray each other or mistrust one another with our words and actions. Think that this would be a fairly easy thing to do. However, life proves that this is not always the case.
Sometimes we can pass it off as joking around. Taking shots at each other's expense whether that be in public or private. What does that do to the other person's self-esteem? How is that building each other up and strengthening your relationship? Tearing down another, even if joking, does nothing for the other person. It can make them feel humiliated and lesser of a person. Other times it can be just complaining to someone else about your significant other. Painting them in a negative light to others also is a trap. We, sometimes, don't even realize that we do that. It is easy to trash another person's character if we become self-absorbed.
Yes, there are conflicts when people are married. We are human and we will hurt each other. This is also not saying that we cannot draw others into our conflicts to foster resolution. There's a difference between telling someone "My wife and I are struggling due to some issue" as opposed to "My wife nags and nags and nags. She's such a shrew." One speaks to a truth (the first) and the other demeans her character (the second). People can figure what others are like without us to color their perceptions.
Another thing is we can speak terrible things in the heat of the moment and say things while bitter and angry. Once released, there are things said that cannot be taken back. We have to be careful with what comes out of our mouth. As I said, our words need to be used to build rather than destroy.
Keeping God in the center of your relationship is vitally important. Praying together and separately for your marriage protects each other. If you are seeking God's wisdom, you will think of each other's needs and reputation as you make decisions. We are called to be partners, lifting each other up, and not tearing each other to pieces. That is not life-affirming, nor what we are called to be as spouses.
The devil does not want us to have healthy relationships. He will do everything in his power to tear us apart. All of our relationships, especially our marriages, are under constant spiritual attack. The enemy will always point out the bad times. I know when I am under spiritual attack in my marriage when Susan and I argue. I will remember the other moments when I was angry and frustrated with her. Those ten moments will replay in my mind. Yet, no memories of all the good moments. That's when I know the devil has overplayed his hand. I will say, what about all those other days? That helps me to realize that even when we have our fights, our good times vastly outnumber any argument and I cant see me being anywhere else but by her side. (Why she sticks around putting up with me is some form of divine intervention as far as I can figure. Just kidding Susan).
This really hits me when we are joking around. That we made jokes at each other's expense. It was playful with no malice intended. Yet, it could lead to worse things down the road, in the heat of the moment. We also cant control what others might read into our joking around if we are tearing into each other. So, what we might consider harmless joking, may color someone's opinion and tarnish a reputation. We need to guard each other's heart.
It is a great responsibility and honor to do so. We need to be aware of that in our relationship with one another. The heart is a jewel entrusted to our safekeeping. And, like any other valuable, we need to treat it with the utmost respect and care. Like other fragile and valuable objects, a broken heart is often very difficult to repair and even harder to restore to its original form.
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