Have you ever been hurt by someone whether intentionally or unintentionally? Have you ever been one that did the hurting? Intentional or unintentional?
During our lifetimes, we are going to hurt and be hurt by other people at least a few times. Sometimes, it will sting and other times they will leave gaping wounds. We can be hurt or hurt physically, verbally, emotionally, and spiritually. These wounds can leave scars and wounds which we can carry throughout our lives. How we choose to handle these hurts in our lives is very important. Both in giving and receiving.
What our reaction to being hurt can take many forms. We can lash back and return the hurt to the person who inflicted it. If we cannot, we can take it out on one we perceive to be "weaker" than ourselves. For others, we can bottle up the pain and leave it unresolved. Slowly eating away at our spirits and our lives. And, it can build like a volcano waiting for that one moment to set off that smoldering rage. Quite possibly the most difficult way to handle the situation is to forgive the other party.
Forgiveness. A pretty strong word and a pretty strong act. There are two types of forgiveness in the Bible. God's forgiveness of our sins and our obligation to forgive others.
First, God had to deal with the sin problem. We are unable and in some points, unwilling to repair the broken relationship with God on our own. Jesus was the one qualified to do that with his sacrifice on the cross. Jesus commanded that we repent, or turn away from our sins, to receive God's forgiveness. Not just saying sorry for being caught, but truly repenting and turning away from that behavior.
What about others? The Bible states that when someone hurts us, we are under an obligation to God to forgive that person.
"For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins" Matthew 6:14-15.
If we receive forgiveness from God, we should forgive others. No grudges, no thoughts of revenge. We need to trust God to see justice done. An article I read said forgiveness means releasing the other from blame, leaving the event in God's hands and moving on. This doesn't mean we forget the offense or not to have the courts to deal with it. But, we leave that up to those parties for the judging. Granted, we are under no obligation to resume relationship with the offending party, especially if doing so places us in danger. Sometimes, relationships become severely damaged or broken due to hurting each other. Yet, it is not our job to pass or carry out judgement on others. We leave that to God.
It can be especially hard to forgive if the other party shows no remorse or suffers in some way for causing the hurt. Sometimes, it is not necessary to forgive the other person to their face. They might not even accept the fact they may have wronged you. That is not the important thing. Forgiveness is.
When you withhold forgiveness, the focus on your life shifts. It internalizes, focusing on your hurt and the party that did you harm. Maybe, you will be unable to move forward in your life as this might consume you. Bitterness, anger, and unforgiveness eat at your spirit. Nothing good comes from that. It only serves to hurt you at the end of the day. That is not God's plan for your life.
Forgiving relieves the burden on your soul. There's nothing wrong with remembering the event and making adjustments to avoid that same hurt in the future. If the other party truly asks for forgiveness, we should freely give it. Withholding only hurts both parties and does not show the truth of God's forgiveness. Who are we to have higher standards than God when someone asks us to forgive them? There is peace when we are forgiving of each other. The other side also applies when we hurt others. We need to ask God to forgive us (we may have hurt another person, but we have sinned against God as well). Then apologize and ask the other party to forgive. They might not, but that's not your concern - they need to take that up with God. Forgiveness is for our benefit, removing that burden from consuming us.
We will hurt and be hurt many times in our lives. The real answer is in how we handle it.
During our lifetimes, we are going to hurt and be hurt by other people at least a few times. Sometimes, it will sting and other times they will leave gaping wounds. We can be hurt or hurt physically, verbally, emotionally, and spiritually. These wounds can leave scars and wounds which we can carry throughout our lives. How we choose to handle these hurts in our lives is very important. Both in giving and receiving.
What our reaction to being hurt can take many forms. We can lash back and return the hurt to the person who inflicted it. If we cannot, we can take it out on one we perceive to be "weaker" than ourselves. For others, we can bottle up the pain and leave it unresolved. Slowly eating away at our spirits and our lives. And, it can build like a volcano waiting for that one moment to set off that smoldering rage. Quite possibly the most difficult way to handle the situation is to forgive the other party.
Forgiveness. A pretty strong word and a pretty strong act. There are two types of forgiveness in the Bible. God's forgiveness of our sins and our obligation to forgive others.
First, God had to deal with the sin problem. We are unable and in some points, unwilling to repair the broken relationship with God on our own. Jesus was the one qualified to do that with his sacrifice on the cross. Jesus commanded that we repent, or turn away from our sins, to receive God's forgiveness. Not just saying sorry for being caught, but truly repenting and turning away from that behavior.
What about others? The Bible states that when someone hurts us, we are under an obligation to God to forgive that person.
"For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins" Matthew 6:14-15.
If we receive forgiveness from God, we should forgive others. No grudges, no thoughts of revenge. We need to trust God to see justice done. An article I read said forgiveness means releasing the other from blame, leaving the event in God's hands and moving on. This doesn't mean we forget the offense or not to have the courts to deal with it. But, we leave that up to those parties for the judging. Granted, we are under no obligation to resume relationship with the offending party, especially if doing so places us in danger. Sometimes, relationships become severely damaged or broken due to hurting each other. Yet, it is not our job to pass or carry out judgement on others. We leave that to God.
It can be especially hard to forgive if the other party shows no remorse or suffers in some way for causing the hurt. Sometimes, it is not necessary to forgive the other person to their face. They might not even accept the fact they may have wronged you. That is not the important thing. Forgiveness is.
When you withhold forgiveness, the focus on your life shifts. It internalizes, focusing on your hurt and the party that did you harm. Maybe, you will be unable to move forward in your life as this might consume you. Bitterness, anger, and unforgiveness eat at your spirit. Nothing good comes from that. It only serves to hurt you at the end of the day. That is not God's plan for your life.
Forgiving relieves the burden on your soul. There's nothing wrong with remembering the event and making adjustments to avoid that same hurt in the future. If the other party truly asks for forgiveness, we should freely give it. Withholding only hurts both parties and does not show the truth of God's forgiveness. Who are we to have higher standards than God when someone asks us to forgive them? There is peace when we are forgiving of each other. The other side also applies when we hurt others. We need to ask God to forgive us (we may have hurt another person, but we have sinned against God as well). Then apologize and ask the other party to forgive. They might not, but that's not your concern - they need to take that up with God. Forgiveness is for our benefit, removing that burden from consuming us.
We will hurt and be hurt many times in our lives. The real answer is in how we handle it.
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