"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right 'Honor your father and mother' - which is the first commandment with a promise - 'so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.' Fathers, do not exasperate your children, 'instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." Ephesians 6:1-4
When I was a little kid, my parents were superheroes. They could do no wrong, were always on the lookout for me, took care of me, and were better than anyone else's parents. How many times did you say "My dad could beat up your dad" or "my mom's better than your mom"? I know that kind of stuff didn't just happen in my community. As young children (depending on our circumstances) we idolized our parents and put them on a pedestal. They were perfect as perfect could be (unless they didn't give us what we wanted) - but I digress.
Then, something funny occurred. It happens usually when we become teenagers. Our parents suddenly overnight lose a lot of IQ points. They don't understand us anymore. They become brutal taskmasters who don't want us to have our freedom. They were definitely never young like us or went through what we were going through. And, they never trusted us. Someone once said "Parents just don't understand"
My recollection of my formative years differs slightly from that. My sister might disagree about her teenage years. She was always oppressed and never got her way and to tell them everywhere she was going and what she was doing. You would have thought we lived in a repressive dictatorship if you listened to my sister then. Especially regarding phone use.
My relationship with my parents always seemed to be pretty good. They've been married almost 44 years and are still going strong. We were the typical suburban family - two parents, two kids, two story house with a fenced in yard and occasional pet. My father, who never went to college, I consider one of the wisest men I know. My mother raised my sister and I while my dad worked. She never let us feel unloved or unsupported (maybe my sister would differ in regards to her teenage years). My father was one of those men that was raised where actions speak louder than words. My father showed his love through working to support his family, being there for our events, and showing us how to do some stuff. I don't recall him very often sharing his feelings, but I never doubted how he felt towards his family. Whether you say that's a right or wrong way of parenting and that is your opinion. At that time, that was how a majority of us were raised by our fathers.
I struggled because I wanted to live up to his standards. Or, more appropriately what I assumed were his standards. He never forced anything upon me, just supported what I was doing. He could prod if he thought I wasn't doing the best of my abilities - but he never put me down if I failed or ever said he was disappointed.
However, I applied immense pressure on myself to succeed. The thought in my mind was to be half the man he was in my eyes. That was going to be my goal. That motivated me through high school and college (and sometimes still does). Because I had placed him on a pedestal, I lost sight of who he really was. I intimidated myself when it came to my father and feel like I may have kept a distance from him.
I was definitely closer to my mother growing up. Probably because I felt I could talk to her and we spent more time together. So, we remain very close.
Now, I know there are others out there who may have had a close relationship with their parents or had circumstances that prevented that. We have all different types of experiences growing up that have an impact on our lives. What we experience from our parents makes up a vital part of our personality.
How our parenting situation goes can reflect on our opinions of God as Father. Not each situation is 100% but it does form our view of God. We can have a brutal or wonderful childhood and have a positive view of God or vice versa. Just because our parents provide a Christian upbringing doesn't always translate into us becoming devoted followers. I think parents have a responsibility to God and live according to His principles. But, at the end of the day, our children will make that decision for themselves. It can break the heart of the parent if they don't, but I pray that they don't blame themselves. God gives us free will to make that decision to follow. My mother took us to church weekly and that had a direct influence on my faith. My sister and I have different opinions about God. It doesn't make a person a good or bad Christian parent due to how their children turn out.
As we get older, we realize through it all that some of our parents are smarter than we thought. They're not perfect people, not even when we were little. Yet they were given a powerful responsibility in raising us. Never an easy task as some of us can state. My hope is parents take that responsibility seriously and that we would too when in the same situation.
When I was a little kid, my parents were superheroes. They could do no wrong, were always on the lookout for me, took care of me, and were better than anyone else's parents. How many times did you say "My dad could beat up your dad" or "my mom's better than your mom"? I know that kind of stuff didn't just happen in my community. As young children (depending on our circumstances) we idolized our parents and put them on a pedestal. They were perfect as perfect could be (unless they didn't give us what we wanted) - but I digress.
Then, something funny occurred. It happens usually when we become teenagers. Our parents suddenly overnight lose a lot of IQ points. They don't understand us anymore. They become brutal taskmasters who don't want us to have our freedom. They were definitely never young like us or went through what we were going through. And, they never trusted us. Someone once said "Parents just don't understand"
My recollection of my formative years differs slightly from that. My sister might disagree about her teenage years. She was always oppressed and never got her way and to tell them everywhere she was going and what she was doing. You would have thought we lived in a repressive dictatorship if you listened to my sister then. Especially regarding phone use.
My relationship with my parents always seemed to be pretty good. They've been married almost 44 years and are still going strong. We were the typical suburban family - two parents, two kids, two story house with a fenced in yard and occasional pet. My father, who never went to college, I consider one of the wisest men I know. My mother raised my sister and I while my dad worked. She never let us feel unloved or unsupported (maybe my sister would differ in regards to her teenage years). My father was one of those men that was raised where actions speak louder than words. My father showed his love through working to support his family, being there for our events, and showing us how to do some stuff. I don't recall him very often sharing his feelings, but I never doubted how he felt towards his family. Whether you say that's a right or wrong way of parenting and that is your opinion. At that time, that was how a majority of us were raised by our fathers.
I struggled because I wanted to live up to his standards. Or, more appropriately what I assumed were his standards. He never forced anything upon me, just supported what I was doing. He could prod if he thought I wasn't doing the best of my abilities - but he never put me down if I failed or ever said he was disappointed.
However, I applied immense pressure on myself to succeed. The thought in my mind was to be half the man he was in my eyes. That was going to be my goal. That motivated me through high school and college (and sometimes still does). Because I had placed him on a pedestal, I lost sight of who he really was. I intimidated myself when it came to my father and feel like I may have kept a distance from him.
I was definitely closer to my mother growing up. Probably because I felt I could talk to her and we spent more time together. So, we remain very close.
Now, I know there are others out there who may have had a close relationship with their parents or had circumstances that prevented that. We have all different types of experiences growing up that have an impact on our lives. What we experience from our parents makes up a vital part of our personality.
How our parenting situation goes can reflect on our opinions of God as Father. Not each situation is 100% but it does form our view of God. We can have a brutal or wonderful childhood and have a positive view of God or vice versa. Just because our parents provide a Christian upbringing doesn't always translate into us becoming devoted followers. I think parents have a responsibility to God and live according to His principles. But, at the end of the day, our children will make that decision for themselves. It can break the heart of the parent if they don't, but I pray that they don't blame themselves. God gives us free will to make that decision to follow. My mother took us to church weekly and that had a direct influence on my faith. My sister and I have different opinions about God. It doesn't make a person a good or bad Christian parent due to how their children turn out.
As we get older, we realize through it all that some of our parents are smarter than we thought. They're not perfect people, not even when we were little. Yet they were given a powerful responsibility in raising us. Never an easy task as some of us can state. My hope is parents take that responsibility seriously and that we would too when in the same situation.
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